We all have this idea that drama ends in high school when in fact the drama often doesn’t actually start until after high school. You’re probably shaking your head while harsh memory flood your brain. Let me explain, yes we all have our fair share of drama while we were in school but does any of that matter now? It’s very rare that whatever was bothering us back then is actually affecting us in our adult lives. For the most part, true life altering drama doesn’t start until we are all supposed to be adulting. Yes, adulting. The reason we are legally allowed to buy alcohol.
When you were a teenager you and your BFF no doubt got into a huge fight over something ridiculously stupid. Am I right? Most likely you both vented to your other friends and talked a world of shit…sound familiar? How long did you two actually make it without talking? Eventually you realized that your love for one another was stronger than whatever you starting fighting over and probably forgot all about it by 5th period. Here I am, 28 years old with family members that probably don’t even remember why they don’t like me. Actually forget probably, if they honestly believe what they are telling my other family members then I know they don’t remember why they don’t like me. Here is the thing – I got my feelings hurt, I’ve cried over it, I was offended, and then I lost all interest. Quick recap…
My sister-in-law doesn’t like me, I don’t know why but she doesn’t. I thought all was fine, there were few snide remarks here or there but I ruled it out as just her personality. Then I got engaged and she told people that “they (here and my brother) were together longer” wow, who cares? They got engaged about a month later and I was thrilled. They got married two months before me – that’s cool, I wasn’t upset. Until I saw her girls dressed in my colors even though I heard over and over for the last couple of months that it was a different color. Eh, okay whatever…annoying but I’m so happy my brother is getting married and is happy. Then Christmas rolls around and my husband and I announce we are expecting – instant ANGER. Hand to God! They were visibly upset, to the point that other family were asking each other if they were fighting. That hurt me. Fast forward a few months and many snide comments and a pregnancy announcement from them (which again I was happy…totally expecting it but happy) – my baby shower/gender reveal. I was basically ignored and my brother spent the entire day making it obvious he didn’t want to be there (go home! I’m cool) and making it all about her…even was trying to make plans for him and the rest of the boys (not including my husband) during her baby shower that wasn’t even planned yet. Here is the thing – I lost it. He was trying to talk over my sister while she was showing me her diaper cake and I told him to shut up. In front of everyone. I know I embarrassed him but what he doesn’t realize is that he was embarrassing himself. Ok, cool so that just happened. Emails were sent, she wrote to me pretending to be my brother telling me that I “never accepting his wife” blah blah blah…I really hate lies. I was thrilled every time they announced something, I liked her, and was happy to have a sister-in-law that I actually got along with. Boy was I way fucking wrong. I simply said that I will not allow myself to be treated so horribly and I didn’t want to be around all of their negativity. Instead of apologizing or trying to stop acting like such cunts I was ignored on Father’s day and then not invited to her baby shower. Okay – I get it.
From my previous post you should know that I had a rough pregnancy towards the end and my baby spent some time in the NICU. And not a single word from her. My brother announced the birth of son on facebook before I had the chance to say anything…and then had people wondering why I wasn’t saying anything. There is acknowledgement of my son and that is when I lost all respect for my so-called family. I was nice, I was inclusive, I push past all the snide comments and still I got nothing but shit in my face. I extended an olive branch and suggested we talk, but only when they are ready to admit what the real problem is. And now they are telling my other family that she is mad about an email! Are you kidding me? End of recap.
I have two choices. I can let the drama surround me and drown me in negativity or I can stand up and say I’m too old for this. I’m 28 years old, I’m a mother, I’m a wife, and I’m a hard working work from home mom. I do not have the time or energy to deal with this kind of petty bullshit. Does the drama ever stop? No but you can be mature and make a healthy choice to not be involved.
I know it’s difficult and sometimes you need to vent and get it out. Purge baby! Purge it, scream it, write it out, and then get over it. Forgive, ignore, walk away…whatever you need to do to make yourself healthy. Negativity is toxic.
We all deserve to be happy and if someone is trying to tell you otherwise, whether with words or actions, tell them to fuck off. You will feel much better. Trust.
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