Females, Were We Raised to Hate? Part One

       As the new year ever so slowly yet incredibly quickly all at the same time approaches so does the time of reflection. As the days and nights creep by that 2016 in the distance gets increasingly closer and people tend to look back on their year. We all make fun of those stupid resolutions that no one actually keeps, and yet, don’t we all continue to make them? 

       My year started off well enough. I was a newlywed that just found out I was pregnant. I had a few mishaps and bumps in the road, if you will. Some negatives that are still lodged in my brain as if I was cramming for a midterm. In general I think I had a pretty good year though. The birth of my son, although a little nerve wracking for a bit, was quite possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me. My marriage, of course, is a close second. The negative things and people that have surrounded me during my stay in the year 2015 have affected me – I’m not going to lie. While reflecting back on the year and looking forward to the things to come I’ve come to one very important conclusion. Girls suck. Well, okay I already knew that…and please ladies, don’t get your panties in a wad. Admit it. We, as females, suck. We are against each other from day one (keep an eye out for my next post) and we will stop at nothing to make sure that all the other females know exactly what they are missing. 

        Please, don’t deny it because we have all done it. Now only the incredibly bitchy will come right out and say “I’m better than you” most of us stick the subtler approach. Mothers – “Oh, you didn’t a flu shot!” Pregnant ladies – “I can’t believe you would eat/drink/wear/do THAT while you’re pregnant” Single ladies – “I would never date someone like that” Ugh, I could go on and on. We are each SO much better than each other. You can see my Guilt Trippers post for more examples if you need them. 

        This year alone I had multiple “women” try to tear me down. First I had the family member that felt my pregnancy was somehow ruining hers so she felt the need to either ignore mine or ruin mine, I guess it all depended on how she felt that day. Then stranger who’s marriage was falling apart so she felt the need to go after mine. There was the good friend that decided to turn a miniscule problem between significant others into our problem which ultimately led to a diminished friendship. To be fair…I didn’t really like her boyfriend so I guess that couldn’t really go far. And of course, there were multiple issues that are barely a blip on my radar but led to the heart stopping unfriending on Facebook – that went both ways though. I’m the first to admit that I have never really gotten along with girls. I never knew what it was but I just always got along better with men because they were less drama. When in fact, that is not actually true. Any “guys girl” can tell you that there is a shit load of drama with men…they just handle it better. And by handle it I mean 99.99% of the time they keep it bottle up and until someone punches the other one and all is well with the world…maybe not the punching. 

         As I sat here mentally filing away all of the girl drama from the past year and then slowly remembering all the garbage throughout the year, I couldn’t help but come to the conclusion that I must be the problem. Until I thought about all the friendships I’ve had with men over the year (important to note that I said friendships and NOT relationships because that is a WHOLE other level of drama) and decided that we as a female species are in fact the problem. Sure, there may be a few girls that can get along just fine but if you really think about it you can remember talking shit even about your bestest friend in the whole wide world. We are not meant to like each other. I will even go as far to say that we are raised to hate each other. 

 

                  To be continued…

The Ugly Truth Rant

Here it is, days away from Christmas, my son's first Christmas to be exact, and instead of joy and excitement I just want to crawl under a rock. My house is a disaster, not a single Christmas decoration, the Christmas presents (most of which I was forced to buy) are shoved in the corner of my already packed office/nusery. Work is miserable, it's getting harder and harder to get anything done during the day. And not that I'm a puppy dog that needs constant positive reinforcement but so positive feedback would be nice for a change. Maybe balance out all the "constructive criticism" just once. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate being able to spend the day with my son and not have to leave him in the care of some own known person. But sometimes I just want a minute to myself. 

Is it at all possible to have "me" time once you become a mother? I'm feeding, I'm cleaning, I'm playing, I'm working, I'm interacting, I'm wondering what the hell happened to me. When I do try to take a minute someone needs to tell me something. My husband constantly asks me if I'm okay, but it's more of the you're not okay so tell me what's wrong. Well dear - I want to go a day without crying or being on the verge of tears. I want to be able to work without feeling guilty. I would love to be able to sit down with a cup of coffee and just be. I would like the checklist of chores to be marked off by someone else for a change. It would be totally awesome if I could just work without mentally figuring out if I'm making enough money that day. I would like to ask for something to get done once and for it to actually get done. I would like for things to get done without asking. I would like to just skip Christmas and not have to worry about all the pending drama. I would like to just be for a few minutes. God help me. 

Something crazy happened when I became a mother. I love my son, I live my husband, and I love my life but sometimes it's all just too much. I feel like shit every minute of everyday. I feel guilty about everything. Guilty for not be able to focus more on my son during the day. Guilty about not being able to be there for my husband like I used to be. Not being able to have our alone time to stay a happy, healthy couple. Guilty for even thinking about looking for a job outside of the home. Guilty for wanting some time to myself. I feel like a bad wife, a terrible mother, and clearly I'm an awful person in general for all the drama that surrounds me even though I try so desperately to keep a positive environment for my son. 

This is fucking ridiculous. I need some mom friends. 

Ugh. Sorry about the rant guys. The holidays are a tough time for me. 

The Social Media Dis

Sigh. Apparently I’ve offended someone again and been…gasp…deleted on Facebook. 

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve never been able to get along with very many girls. I have a couple of good friends, my sister, and my mother. Of course the last two had some bumps in the road as I was growing up but hey, hormones suck. I’ve always kept my group very small to begin with and that group usually tends to be dominated by the opposite sex. No, I’m not a whore and no, I’m not one of those girls that got a boyfriend and demanded that I be with him and his friends 24/7. I have just always gotten along with men a lot easier than women, which caused a lot of problems when I was still in school. Instead of being smart about the situation and getting good with me so I could put in a good word, I got looks of hatred thrown my way and rumors spread. But any who – fast forward an undisclosed amount of years later and I’m still offending the female population every second of my life, apparently. 

Now, if you remember I admitted to deleting a few people myself while pregnant. I whole heartedly believe that if someone is bringing negativity into your life you have to nip that shit in the bud. HOWEVER, I have common sense and common curtesy, and would never delete someone that would cause even more drama. That is what the HIDE option is for. Family members, close friends, and significant others of close friends should never be deleted unless you are prepared to walk away for good. Social media is a sad, stupid little thing that means a lot to people. Being deleted is, essentially, telling someone that they are not wanted around. End of story. 

I’ve been ignored, I’ve been deleted, I’ve been told straight to my face that we aren’t friends anymore and I’ve done them all too. I’ve spent far too many years of my life learning to love myself for who I am, every ounce of sarcastic bitch that I am, to waste my time chasing love, attention, and respect from those that don’t want to share. I have been used so many times in my life that I won’t spend a minute of my time worrying about what I may have done to hurt the already oversensitive. And I won’t bat an eyelash at walking away from a negative situation and shutting the door on bad friendships and relationships. However, when someone’s insecurities about my opinions that may or may not actually be aimed towards them starts affecting the relationships of those around me…well, we’re going to have a problem. 

In a world run by social media and people constantly sharing their opinions on even the smallest detail of life, adults have a greater platform to continue to act like children. We all have our immature moments, but there are people that are heading to, are well in, or even have already greatly exceeded their 30s that still acting as if they are in their early teens jumping at the chance to spread their childish ways all over the internet at rapid speed. There is a daily opportunity to make every decision public knowledge and they just can’t wait to drag everyone into the whirlwind of naivety and toss out a dose of good old fashioned drama with a swipe of the keyboard.

 

I can’t help but wonder, at what age to grow up and lose the highschool mentality?