Pregnancy. What a wonderful concept. To know that there is a human being growing inside of you, a little piece of you and your significant other to love for the rest of your life is one of the greatest feelings in the entire world. Whether it was planned or not, whether you think your prepared or not (you’re definitely not), whatever your home life may be this pregnancy will change your world for the better. Well, in a generally speaking somewhat delusional kind of way. Let’s face it…your life, as you know it, is completely over and beginning all at the same time.
If you are currently pregnant you have probably heard by now how challenging it can be to be a parent. As a mother of a three month old I can definitely attest to that. But that isn’t what we are going to talk about. We know being a parent is hard because we hear almost every single day for almost our whole lives. We see the tired, stressed out mother at Starbucks or the screaming toddler at the supermarket and I’m sure we’ve all heard our parents blame us for their drinking even if they are only half joking…just me? It is common sense to assume that being a parent is hard but pregnancy? Aside from the getting fat and the stress of preparing for the soon to be bouncing bundle of joy what could possibly be so difficult? Oh honey, you have no idea.
So, you are pregnant. Congratulations!
The first couple of months of my pregnancy were a breeze. I didn’t have morning sickness which is most likely thanks to the early prenatal care. It was exciting to share my news with loved ones and such a beautiful thing to watch your stomach grow each week. You get to register for all the cool and somewhat unnecessary baby stuff, skimp on the housework, and eat whatever you want all because you’re “with child". So put your feet up and turn on the most ridiculous realty show obsession we all know you have…this is your time to relax.
La la la la do do do...and we're back.
Okay relaxing time is over! Quick right? Yeah well here is something no one ever tells you – from the moment you find out you’re pregnant relaxing is a thing of the past. Let’s take a look at what the next nine months might look like.
First, you’re going to have to deal with some new kinds of people…someone might fit into multiple categories and someone might not fit into any but either way introverts beware! If you are a people person then you might already have the tools to deals with these, well, tools. I, however, am an introvert about 85% of the time so I don’t generally like being people to begin with. Just remember that if someone is making you uncomfortable, it is okay to remove yourself from the situation. For example:
-I’m so ::cough:: not ::cough:: happy for you-
Every soon to be momma must be prepared for the haters. There will almost always be one person that is not happy about your pregnancy. These people can be subtle or just downright rude and it will be hard to deal with no matter who it is. In my case I believe it was jealousy that turned this person ugly. Instead of basking in the joy of a new addition to the family I received both the subtle jabs and the painfully obvious snickers of discontent. You may have a jealous sibling or in law, a parent that doesn’t think your significant other is the right one, an aunt that thinks you’re too young/old, or a co-worker that just doesn’t like to see other people happy. Whoever is being an asshole needs to be ignored and perhaps 100% avoided because what is important right now is your and your baby’s health. Stress can cause you a lot of trouble in your non-pregnant life and is ten times worse with your little one on board. Thanks to a certain someone’s jealousy and competitiveness I allowed myself to get so stressed out that at 8 months pregnant my blood pressure shot up and I was eventually put on bed rest for the last month of my pregnancy. I won’t get into the whole ordeal because frankly it and that person doesn’t matter anymore. At the time, however, I was devastated and spent the next two months in and out of fetal monitoring, labor and delivery, and my doctor’s office due to the stress. There is always going to be someone that just can’t be happy for someone else because some people just suck. Those people don’t deserve to be around your beautiful happy self. You are having a baby and if any one of your friends or family members isn’t happy for you then screw them. There will be plenty of people that are happy for you. People LOVE babies and you can’t find any of those people, shoot me an email. I would love to chat about your beautiful little one.
-The Instant Friend-
Along with the hater(s) there will come the polar opposite over excited stranger. Maybe it’s a co-worker you never talk to or some random girl behind you in line for the bathroom at a Fleetwood Mac concert. Too specific? Well, it happened. I had a co-worker that asked me every day if I had morning sickness. It seems innocent enough but after the third or fourth day it gets odd. Are you concerned or hoping? Like I said before, people love babies and when they see a pregnant lady they tend to lose all self control or common sense. If memory serves me right, we learned at a very young age about personal space and how it’s inappropriate to just go around touching strangers. Once you start showing you will have complete strangers think it okay to touch your belly. It’s the strangest thing I had to deal with. When my baby boy started kicking I didn’t mind friends and family feeling. I felt Henry kicking for about two months before anyone else could actually feel him so it was like a wonderful gift I finally got to share. But stranger danger man…hands off my child, even if he is still in utero.
When I was six months pregnant I went to Vegas to see Fleedwood Mac for my birthday. I was pregnant, not dead so chill with the judgment. At the end of the concert I was in line for the bathroom when a polite conversation was started by the girl behind me. Before I knew what was happening she was holding my stomach with both hands and with her eyes tightly closed she predicted I was having a boy. She then leaned in and said I know because girls make you fat and you’re not fat. As much as I appreciated the blatant lie, I felt like a cow, I was clearly a bit taken aback by what was going on. In what universe is that okay? The pregnancy universe. You either need to get used to this or feel comfortable to tell someone to back off as politely or as rudely as you see fit. But then you may meet the next type…
-It’s hormonal-
"Is that the pregnancy talking?"
"Oh you’re just cranky because your hormones."
Oh, I even had the hater from earlier say at my gender reveal no less “She’s pregnant so she is allowed to be a bitch”
Uuuuum, excuse me? It’s pretty much on par with your significant other asking you or telling you (so much worse) that you’re PMSing. Yes, hormones are a terrible, horrible, at times diasterous thing while pregnant. It’s something that is beyond your control and you’ll just have to get used to it. FYI: sometimes they get worse after the baby comes. But these people, these are people that I couldn’t stand. In the beginning I would fight back but towards the end I would just leave them wherever they were. I ignored, abandoned, and unfriended really anyone that caused me stress or discomfort. You might not want to go to these extremes but let the record show that my real friends are still very much my friends because they weren’t a bunch of assholes. As for the rest of them, I certainly do not miss a single one. But let's get back on track. Your hormones are so out of sync that you could be crying over a diapers commercial one minute and pissed off the next but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t things that you will legitimately get upset about. You are human, you are allowed to be upset about something without someone throwing your hormones in your face.
Now if you’re tossing dishes at your spouse’s head because he got you the wrong type of ice cream you might want to step away for a few minutes.
And trust me honey...there will be times that the mere thought of your spouse will piss you off. But that is a whole different post.
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